A month ago, Eddie and I were set to sign the title transfer papers on a house in Cleveland. It took two months because at every turn something didn’t work out the way we thought it would. But he never faltered or second guessed what we were doing. When things seemed out of reach, he reassured me we’d figure it out. There were several moments where I felt like giving up and in those moments I recognized that I wouldn’t have had the resilience to push forward if he wasn’t by my side. We took a beating over those two months, but we made it happen.
He passed away a couple days before we were set to sign the papers. I called the bank and the escrow company and told them what had happened. But rather than throwing in the towel, I asked for another 30 day extension. When they said yes, I started the whole process over again fully aware that the bank would eventually say no. I was denied twice as the sole lender prior to Eddie becoming a co-lender and even that barely got us through. The way I looked at it is Eddie never let me give up on it, so it didn’t feel right giving up now that he was gone. They would have to take it away.
Over the last 30 days I’ve kept at it. Every time I got bad news, I took the approach that we would figure it out. Every time I got good news, it was excitement followed by tears that Eddie wasn’t here to share it with me. Everyday I expected the call saying it wasn’t going to happen, but it never came. So I kept at it.
Earlier today I got the email letting me know the deal was done and asking me where to send the keys. Once again my excitement was short lived as I know this still wasn’t going to bring him back. Right now, this house is a painful reminder of what is missing. My hope is down the line I will be able to look at this house as a reminder of how my big brother stood side by side with me and believed in his family. He had plans and I hope to honor, live up to, and never give up on them. And this is the first step.